Best/Funniest Insult!

[valevelo]

BTW, in the Army, the expression "S**** T******" was a reference to a woman who tended to be somewhat easily enticed.

I never realised it could refer to a male part instead. You learn something every day.

I'd say it makes more sense referring to a , "Spunk Bucket" on the other hand refers to the village bike

 

[Frappy]

The best one I heard was years ago from a 13/15 year old traveller kid to an old female manager I had .

" I bet your P***y lips are like saddle bags"

I nearly died laughing

 

[Grey Man]

The best one I heard was years ago from a 13/15 year old traveller kid to an old female manager I had .

" I bet your P***y lips are like saddle bags"

'Like a horses collar'.

 

[Idioteque]

Floppycock

 

[Anchutz]

Your Face… My Ar$e

Was used a lot growing up.

Got thumped a few times for saying iirc.

You need the first line of the joke for today's youngster to geet it.
"Have you got a match"

 

[BigBadBubbage]

I bet your P***y lips are like saddle bags

Or a paunched rabbit haha

 

[John Pembroke]

Competent maladroit ? for someone that is very good at being crap.

 

[Idioteque]

The best one I heard was years ago from a 13/15 year old traveller kid to an old female manager I had .

" I bet your P***y lips are like saddle bags"

I nearly died laughing

Like a ripped-out fireplace.

 

[Smiler123]

Apparently Frankie Boyle had insulted Robbie Savage.
Savage responded with threats of beating Frankie up.
Frankie responded with "Listen, you keep fighting evolution and I'll fight the winner".

 

[Jimbobjones]

Lady Nancy Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Winston Churchill: "Madame,if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

 

[joe average]

He’s thicker than a submarine door or thicker than a whale omelette

 

[Wing Commander]

Bunaglow. . . Meaning there is nothing upstairs.

 

[busta87]

If brains were taxed, you'd get a rebate my friend.

Stolen from @Joey latest ban comment

 

[Nords]

A classic from someone’s military yearly report “This man consistently sets low standards and then fails to achieve them…”

 

[Wing Commander]

Winston Churchill's famous response to socialist MP Bessie Braddock who accused him of being disgustingly drunk:

'My dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober, and you will still be disgustingly ugly.'

Drunk or sober, he had a fabulous command of the use of words.

 

[Conductor 71]

Lady Nancy Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Winston Churchill: "Madame,if you were my wife, I'd drink it!"

To Sir Winston "You are drunk again". Retort, "and you madam are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober".
Closer to home "Your mind is a sewer".

Wing commander beat me to the Churchill quote

 

[Gap-Shot]

Worst one I've heard............. " Face like it was on fire, and put out with an ice pick. "

 

[bowser]

If you want some juicy ones, read “Regimental” by Steve Brown.

 

[Aston_Shooter]

Standard fare is simply 'p*ss flap' when being uncouth.

'Fanny like a wizard's sleeve'
'Spunk bubble'
'Chinless wonder'
'Face like a bag of spanners'

And so on...

 

[confidis]

F***you very much