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What not to wash a windscreen with

Mrs. H

Mrs. H

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On the way back from the tip yesterday I hit a swarm of bees. :(
Not intentional, and sadly nothing I could do. I suddenly became aware of a large football shaped moving mass in the air that passed cleanly over the car in front before popping like marbles all over the landies windscreen. I thought it was mud or small stones at first, until I saw the tiny body parts. Very sad.
Did leave me with a very real mess to clean up though, I didn't dare use the windscreen wipers as the motors not the greatest at the best of times and you end up vocally urging them on to make the tiny journey from start to mid-ish way as they grate and groan their way across. So came home and after I'd finished disinfecting the back load area (took a load of rat poop infested bits to the tip), figured I could use the rest of the bucket to wash down the windscreen. Having failed to find the 'Flash', my default disinfectant of choice was Dettol.
In hindsight, do not wash your windscreen with dettol.
1. It dries with bold milky white streaks meaning you need to wash it again. And again. And again, each time reactivating the invigorating surgical nuances of Dettol. Not exactly Lynx Africa.
2. I can't smell the load area as the Landy has a cab back meaning its well away from me. The windscreen however is above the air conditioning, AKA the mechanical lift-up flaps. Whole cockpit smells of Dettol. Nice. :oops:
 
Mrs. H said:
On the way back from the tip yesterday I hit a swarm of bees. :(
Not intentional, and sadly nothing I could do. I suddenly became aware of a large football shaped moving mass in the air that passed cleanly over the car in front before popping like marbles all over the landies windscreen. I thought it was mud or small stones at first, until I saw the tiny body parts. Very sad.
Did leave me with a very real mess to clean up though, I didn't dare use the windscreen wipers as the motors not the greatest at the best of times and you end up vocally urging them on to make the tiny journey from start to mid-ish way as they grate and groan their way across. So came home and after I'd finished disinfecting the back load area (took a load of rat poop infested bits to the tip), figured I could use the rest of the bucket to wash down the windscreen. Having failed to find the 'Flash', my default disinfectant of choice was Dettol.
In hindsight, do not wash your windscreen with dettol.
1. It dries with bold milky white streaks meaning you need to wash it again. And again. And again, each time reactivating the invigorating surgical nuances of Dettol. Not exactly Lynx Africa.
2. I can't smell the load area as the Landy has a cab back meaning its well away from me. The windscreen however is above the air conditioning, AKA the mechanical lift-up flaps. Whole cockpit smells of Dettol. Nice. :oops:
Click to expand...
Reminds me of the old joke ...

What do you do if your Landy gets surrounded by a swarm of killer bees ?

Stop pushing and take refuge inside the vehicle.

😂
 
Years ago, driving up the M1, approaching Woolley Edge services, late evening, drove into a cloud of something. It just covered the windscreen n the wipers just made it worse.
Pulled onto the hard shoulder to inspect it. Thick layer of aphids splatted.
As I'm doing this, 2 other cars pulled behind me with the same problem. We slowly drove the short distance to the service area, heads out windows n spent ages trying to scrape n clean the crud off.
 
My college car was a tatty Mini, as was my friend's. We saw this brush-on paint advertised (Repaint) which was supposed to dry very slowly leaving a spray-like finish. I did mine yellow and he did his blue. To be fair, it did dry to a smooth finish, but so slowly that any dust in the air settled and got stuck in it and it's too soft a paint to T-cut. We went into town and parked on a street some distance away. On return my yellow Mini had gone and had been replaced by a green one, which turned out to be a complete coating of greenfly; must have been millions of them. Something in the paint had obviously attracted every one within a fair radius.
 
I stupidly tried to drive through a swarm of locusts in an old camper van on the road to Wilpena in OZ. That was messy and quite scary in the midst of it, especially when they started getting in. Ill never forget that sound or the carnage in the engine bay where they got hit by the fan.
 
I once got some bird poop on my windscreen that even the jet wash would not shift. F*ck knows what it was, but it took liberal amounts of white vinegar to dissolve....
 
Back to the original question:- I'd go warm water with a drop of fairy liquid and a sponge then rinse off with cold water and a different clean sponge.
Good luck !
 
Sounds like seagull @crissdee . So acidic their poo seems to etch into the glass and certainly wrecks your paintwork if not removed immediately. I used to work in Felixstowe.

I'd go with @Mark E Smith 's approach, perhaps it will need more than once?
 
On my old Polo (first car, I was young) I used Windolene to clean the outside of the windows..... Yeah, I wouldn't recommend that, either.
 
Owain said:
I stupidly tried to drive through a swarm of locusts in an old camper van on the road to Wilpena in OZ. That was messy and quite scary in the midst of it, especially when they started getting in. Ill never forget that sound or the carnage in the engine bay where they got hit by the fan.
Click to expand...
Horror movie stuff.
 
It was my friend's turn to drive to work, she parked it under a row of trees.
8 hours after if was caked in pigeon poo, we had to go back and get a mop and bucket.

There used to be a powder you could add to your screen wash bottle, fantastic stuff but alas too dear.

Here is the problem, we need a water soluble solvent that's polar but the greasy crap is usually none-polar.

So for e.g. toluene would be good but flammable and none-water soluble.
 
Learning to drive in mums x reg ford escort going at a fair lick along a country road en route to Nan's in Devon there was a loud splat and a little bit of green bird poo on my drivers side of the window. Errugghh get it off she shouts from the passenger seat...not really seeing the issue I just hit the wipers not the squirter ...only to smear what looked like the entire innards of a green and white creme egg entirely across the passengers side windscreen. Both of us were nearly sick but I.managed to find the squirter eventually and bring the vehicle safely back under control .....there endeth that lesson🤮🤮🤮🤮. So to answer....water or whatever is in the bottle...not just a wiper blade !
 
When I used to ride through swarms of flies or random bees on the motorbike my visor would get splattered.
I used to soak folded kitchen towel in warm soapy water (fairy or other brands) and let it soak the dried carcasses for 5 or so mins.
Then wash as usual with your normal stuff or warm soapy water. Again washing up liquid is good as it cuts through the grease.
 
Owain said:
I stupidly tried to drive through a swarm of locusts in an old camper van on the road to Wilpena in OZ. That was messy and quite scary in the midst of it, especially when they started getting in. Ill never forget that sound or the carnage in the engine bay where they got hit by the fan.
Click to expand...
Mate of mine drove through a locust cloud in Oz and the detritus clogged the radiator.
Engine overheated which is not what you want in the outback. Especially with a limited water supply
 
andypandy345 said:
When I used to ride through swarms of flies or random bees on the motorbike my visor would get splattered.
I used to soak folded kitchen towel in warm soapy water (fairy or other brands) and let it soak the dried carcasses for 5 or so mins.
Then wash as usual with your normal stuff or warm soapy water. Again washing up liquid is good as it cuts through the grease.
Click to expand...
I use baby wipes with lanolin nowadays, just leave one on to soak for a while like you say and jobs a guddun 👍
 
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