Humerous shooting tales

sabc

sabc

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As some of you may know I’ve been laid up in hospital for the past fortnight with a broken humerus and smashed up face. It’s a pretty damn boring place to be.
Any way to keep me amused please post your humerous keystone cops type shooting tales below.
I’ll start with one of mine.
Many years ago a mate and myself were lamping a golf course. We both had a thing for bikes and shooting so decided to combine both. An old Honda XL trail bike and one massive head light of we went. After a while with only one rabbit we decided to ride down to an other part of the course with me as pillion with rifle across my lap. Numpty up front decided to ride between two fence posts. Yep you guessed it bike and rider fitted , pillion with rifle across his lap didn’t. It was several minutes before I could breath properly. Thankfully the HW35 was unscathed.
 
Back in the early 80's i had a perm in South Leics, only a mile from my house so would cycle down there. One evening, a friend (new HW77) & myself(HW80)decided to give the rabbits a good seeing to, this was pest control not sport shooting, we shot in total 77, he drove off in his car, leaving me to cycle home, had the great idea to hock the rabbits & have them on a stick over my handlebars... the motion of cycling made the rabbits sway & one went into the front wheel..........
 
Here is one which did NOT amuse me at the time !
My older brother kept an Airsporter locked in his bedroom cupboard, but he sometimes forgot to lock it.One such day my younger brothers football wedged in the trellis was tempting me to see what a pellet could do to it so I took careful aim from the bedroom window and MUST have hit it dead centre as a split second later I had blood running from the middle of my forehead.
Never found the pellet — mum didn’t believe I walked into a door and I only admitted the truth as an adult ( I was about 12 at the time )🤣
 
Late 1970's. My buddy Richard and I each acquired hunting Tag's for Javalina in Arizona. I took my Honda Trail 90 along, and followed a wash up a long Desert canyon to check out an old Mine I was told about. I hiked uphill to the mine, but didn't go in because of its remoteness; as if anything bad was to happen, I probably wouldn't be found for a long time. As I was heading back down the hill, I noticed several pigs (Javalina) on top of the hill on the other side of the wash below. I watched them move down to about seventy yards away, and sent an arrow across to the other side to meet one, which it did.

I gutted and strapped it to the rack on my bike, an headed back to camp. When I got back to the paved road about two miles from camp, I noticed people in cars looking 😲 astonished as they were passing me by, because the pig's head was slightly bobbing and looking like it was alive and enjoying the ride. As I rode back into camp, Richard was laughing his head off at the sight before him.

Here are a couple of photos.
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Two of us out one night and my mate had been hunkered down in hedgerow for about an hour and taken a few bunnies off the field margin, when his bowels decided they needed emptying. He is normally legendary for 'holding it in' and fought heroically for about half an hour, but Mr Brown was more determined - not wanting to spook any bunnies by going out into the field, he decided to go backwards through the hedge to the paddock behind. Steep sided dry ditch, then post and rail : not a problem he thinks, but in climbing up the other side of the ditch, the need for evacuation became immediate. He reached the top, but forgot about the low electric wire used to try and keep bugsy out of the paddocks - zap to the ankle, tripped on the wire, fell and then shat himself.

I nearly came out in sympathy for him by shitting myself laughing 😂
 
I was out for the squirrels in an old woodland with a mate a while back. He took aim and shot at one high up. It sounded like a solid hit. Down came the squirrel, hitting leaves and branches on the way. Then it hit the mud track and bounced a few feet. My mate bent over to it in the undergrowth. I told him to poke it with the rifle first. He said, no it's dead look. Just as he reached for it, it took a few bites out of his hand then, ran up his sleeve, round his neck and jumped off his head and went straight back up the tree. The thought of him jumping about and shouting like a girl still makes me laugh. I thought he'd stepped on a mains cable 😄

That cost us 3 hours in A&E to get all of the scratches cleaned up, stitches in his hand and a tetanus jab. He also hated needles 😄

Any time that we disagree on anything now, my answer with a grin is always - yeah, are you sure that squirrel's dead ? I've been sworn at loads of times for that 😄
 
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No funny air gun occasions, buts somewhere I have a photo from a hunting trip to Montana where my buddy Del and I were on a big game hunt. We backpacked in and while I was answering the call of nature away from camp, I noticed a mountain Grouse perched on a downed tree watching me from about fifty feet away. Finished my business, grabbed my single shot rifle and jacked in one of the small game plinker rounds I made up. The shot missed its head, so while watching the bird, I reached for and jacked in another round. When I took the shot, There was a halo of feathers slowly trickling to the ground. Homer face palm I had pulled a cartridge from the wrong side of the holder which was a full powered round. When I got to the bird, all that was left was the head, a wing, and the feet connected. Needless to say, there was no Grouse for dinner that evening. :censored:
 
Many many years ago a mate and myself went through some woods near where we lived towards a golf course at the edge of the golf course we came across some pigeons in the field I took a shot hit the pigeon and it made a funny sound I reloaded and fired again hitting the pigeon I couldn’t make it out I reloaded again we then heard the biggest oi ever someone was in a hide and I was firing at the decoys we ran like mad away and whoever it was fired there shotgun up in the air my mate was in front of me and he’s shouting I’ve been hit after running for a while we hid in some bushes he insisted he had been hit in the backside the funny part was next time I went to fire my gun it was not loaded I never ever told him but I think I shot him up the backside as we were running away
 
In our teens, my mates & I used to shoot rats on the local council rubbish dump - with their blessing, I should add.
We'd often do this "mob handed" so there might be half a dozen of us staking out the spots where we expected rats to appear, and during these sessions we'd call a regular halt to shooting while we went to recover rats we'd shot - the council paid 6d for every dead rat, proved by cutting off their tails & presenting them at the council office.
As we walked over the tip, one of the lads suddenly screamed out in horror because a rat had run up his trouser leg ! Tightly gripping his thigh just above the knee to stop the rat getting any further, he was yelling "Get it off " Get it off !", so one of my mates swung his rifle butt at the bulge in the lad's trouser leg, but because he was dancing around in panic the butt whacked him on the opposite kneecap and floored him instantly, so now he's on the floor in agony & still desperately fighting to stop the rat getting anywhere near his family jewels !
Someone did eventually manage to stun the rat, but most of us were laughing so hard we couldn't breath ! :ROFLMAO:
 
Eeyore said:
In our teens, my mates & I used to shoot rats on the local council rubbish dump - with their blessing, I should add.
We'd often do this "mob handed" so there might be half a dozen of us staking out the spots where we expected rats to appear, and during these sessions we'd call a regular halt to shooting while we went to recover rats we'd shot - the council paid 6d for every dead rat, proved by cutting off their tails & presenting them at the council office.
As we walked over the tip, one of the lads suddenly screamed out in horror because a rat had run up his trouser leg ! Tightly gripping his thigh just above the knee to stop the rat getting any further, he was yelling "Get it off " Get it off !", so one of my mates swung his rifle butt at the bulge in the lad's trouser leg, but because he was dancing around in panic the butt whacked him on the opposite kneecap and floored him instantly, so now he's on the floor in agony & still desperately fighting to stop the rat getting anywhere near his family jewels !
Someone did eventually manage to stun the rat, but most of us were laughing so hard we couldn't breath ! :ROFLMAO:
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I was always told to tuck your trousers in your socks when in rat infested places.....for good reason....lol.
 
junglie2022 said:
I was always told to tuck your trousers in your socks when in rat infested places.....for good reason....lol.
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Not shooting related, but funny to me. I was working on an "Outage" at the Diablo Canyon Nuclear power plant, setting scaffolding in the cooling sea water intake shaft so labourers could scrape away the ocean vegetation that grew on the walls. We all wore white water resistant coveralls and welly type boots. Even when drained, the shaft had about a foot of water in it. Suddenly one of the labourers let out a scream and thrashed about until he knocked himself out. Others jumped on the scaffolding and started climbing in a panic. I pinned myself against a wall and then noticed the Octopus climbing out of the labourer's boot. We got him out of there and to the onsite medical facility. Never saw him again, and later heard he quit.
 
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When we were kids, my younger cousin found a bullet and had the whizzo idea of hitting it with a hammer to see what would happen and shot himself in the leg. Several decades on, he's apparently a rather good shot. I know he has a BSA R10 - it was that which set me off down the PCP slippery slope - and he also has shotguns and the kind of rifles that need to be kept in locked cabinets and hasn't yet shot himself with any of them.
 
For my birthday last year, my girls bought me a Weihrauch XL silencer. I dry fired the gun a couple of times impressed at its quietness. I then got it into my head the shooting a birthday balloon attached to the fence was a good idea egged on by my daughters. I duly hung the balloon on the fence knowing I could hit the balloon and fence post and took the shot. 10 minutes later I put my rifle away and as I got near the fence noticed a small pellet sized hole in the panel right next to the post, oh dear I thought! This then amplified somewhat when I realised that it had exited and gone straight through the other half’s car tail light too!
 
Early 90s, a quick morning lamp before work with my mate.

Both of us had a pee before we got back to the car, as you do.

It was mid winter and the locks had frozen solid on said car.

Now picture two guys either side of the car, empty bladders, eye to eye, knobs out, trying to eek out a little wee to defrost the locks 😭
 
Sorry to hear you're poorly fella 😟 Hope you're back in top fine fettle soon 😊

Nothing super heroic, or involving a vehicle, but still... Doing a little fine-tuning and chrono testing at home one morning. Shooting into my target holder / pellet catcher and after a while noted a distinct change in tone, more of a thud than the usual metallic twang. And upon further investigation...

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What you see below is my feeble attempt at patching up the hole that was made by several pellets passing straight through the catcher and straight through the Tallboy chest of drawers :eek:Homer face palm. Thankfully, it's a cheap Ikea item in the spare room. To avoid a lecture from my partner I proceeded to patch the hole, crudely, I might add, with a piece of the laminate foil that came away from the drawer, and coloured the surrounding area with a permanent marker, which actually masked it quite well. It's actually not visible head on. We were cleaning the house a couple of months later, and I began polishing the tallboy when my partner said, 'Be careful not to pull out the rubbish repair job that you did after shooting the drawers. ' I look up at her sheepishly, and she says 'I found pellets in my socks!' To be fair, despite despairing of my antics, she does laugh at my idiocy 😅

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Early 1960s and I was an eager, young shooter aged 8.
I was lucky to have my own 25 yards rifle range in the back garden, and I spent many happy hours out there merrily plinking away at the usual tin cans, bottle tops and plastic soldiers.

On this particular day, after a session of blasting the targets to hell, the time came to nip down the range to set them all up again. . . And that's when I noticed my mother's washing line, complete with many pegs attached to it. 😈

Hmmmm, "She won't miss one", I thought... It exploded into several pieces.
And then I thought, "Surely, she won't miss two." . . . This was fun.
And then, continuing the mischief, I thought, "Nahhh, she won't miss a dozen."

However, by coincidence, my mother happened to be looking out of the kitchen window at the precise moment when one of her pegs exploded. 😱

She wasn't impressed with my marksmanship, but I was impressed with hers. . . . She was lethal with a slipper. 😫 😫

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Some good stories about bygone days. Back in the early 80,s me and a mate acquired a shotgun and a Vauxhall chevette. After a few beers ,we decided to go lamping along the old railway cutting. Being the oldest at 16 it was decided that I drive and Tony would lie on the roof with the gun. Now on this night rabbits were scarce on the usual track, I spotted a rabbit hard left and turned the car. However Tony slid off the roof and on hitting the ground, pulled the trigger, blowing out the back window and passengers side. That was the end of that and I think we got £8 scrap for the car.
 
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