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clean jokes thread

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Horiontal Jogger said:
A rather dejected and forlorn looking bloke walks into a pub, he says to the barmaid, "pint of mother in law please", the barmaid looked puzzled and questioned, "what's that"? The guy replies, "stout and bitter"!
Click to expand...
In Winter our local Harvey's brew their Old. Half'n'half with Best, it is known as a Mother-in-Law.
Coz it is old and bitter.
 
A seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents, and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Welsh Football team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Sorry Wales. I had to pick a team to fit.
 
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